TV Reviews

Veronica Mars, The Simpsons, Canadian Idol (September 12, 2005)

I sort of had a backwards season last year in regards to what shows I fell in love with. I was with “Desparate Housewives” from episode #1 and it quickly became my favorite tv show. Around late October, I got into “Lost,” fell even more in love and that replaced “DH” as my new favorite show. Well, it’s happened again. I feel dirty for cheating on “Lost,” but it’s official, my favorite tv show is now “Veronica Mars.” It was an embarrassment of riches last year for new tv shows, although publicity seemed to be inverse to the quality of the show. “DH,” is reality, is a B performer- good, but rarely spectacular (except for Marcia Cross, who is divine), “Lost” is an instant classic, an A performer that got a decent amount of press, while “Veronica Mars,” the best of the three and an A+ performer, got almost no press at all.

So what’s so good about this show, you ask. Well, pretty much everything. If you’re not familiar with the premise, Veronica works with her father, who is a P.I. while she tries to solve the two overlying mysteries of the season, who raped her and who really killed Lilly Kane. The Kane’s, an uber-rich family, paid a guy named Abel Koontz to take the fall because they thought that their son, Duncan, who has seizures and is also Veronica’s ex, did it in a fit of rage. Veronica discovers that Abel couldn’t have done it, and this becomes her drive for the season. Along the way, she solves “mystery of the week” type cases for classmates (like who stole the school mascot, who is torturing a girl during her finals, ect), but all of this is more of a means to an end- to make enough money to keep the Lilly case alive. The town of Neptune, in which she resides, is rich in crime and intrigue, full of amazing characters, including the main ones, Veronica’s father (the ex-sheriff who was recently fired), Weevil (the Hispanic lowlife who seems to always have Veronica’s back, and his her, and also had an affair with Lilly just before she died), Logan (son of movie star Aaron, boyfriend to Lilly when she was killed, comic relief, cute, love-hate relationship with Veronica that turns into love later in the season), Wallace, Veronica’s sporty new best friend who does her a lot of favors, Kane parents Jake (who just may be Veronica’s father- incest alert!) and Celeste (who hates Veronica with a passion because she keeps dredging up the murder case, and that her husband and Veronica’s mother were having an affair for years). There are also many periphery characters that would take too long to count, from the numerous school students to Duncan’s mom (who killed herself mid-season by jumping off the Coronado bridge.) When Lilly was alive, Veronica was cool with the “in” crowd, but after her murder, her father losing his job as sheriff and an ill fated party where Veronica was drugged and raped, she became the school joke. But that doesn’t bother Veronica. She’s as tough as nails and is determined to find out what really happened to her and who really killed Lilly. Resourceful to the nth degree, she can pretty much make anything happen.

I didn’t count one single bad episode from the entire first season, which is an amazing feat. Indeed, although some of the earlier episodes were slowish, the pace quickly picked up and every single episode was jam packed. Kristen Bell as Veronica gave the performance of her life so many times over this season, it’ll be interesting to see what new she can bring next year. When she finally discovered who “raped” her, it was an emotional tour-de-force with both that actor and Bell giving performances that the emmys blatantly overlooked. This show not even getting one single nomination is astounding to me- honestly, it’s the best first season of any tv series since, well, I’ve heard comparisons to “Twin Peaks” and that seems more than fair. I simply love the character of Veronica- she doesn’t care what anybody else thinks of her and plows ahead no matter who she hurts. Some people have been apparently been turned off by how cold she is, but that’s a plus in my books because it’s so rarely shown on tv. Or if it is, the person is made to look like a completely unredeemable shrew and is shoved off into secondary character status. The fact that Bell is a very attractive 24 year old certainly doesn’t hurt, and her acting skills have been well honed in theatre to boot. The bottom line is that you must watch this show, or at least the first season. It’s beyond amazing. It’s first season was likely one of the top 10 best seasons of any drama in the last decade, if not ranking even higher (if only it weren’t so subjective….). I’m really hoping that the show can keep it up in season two, but the formula may be hard to replicate. Let’s keep out fingers crossed.

Now, onto season 17 of The Simpsons. In the fall preview, I goofed and put season 15 or something. What does it really matter anymore? “The Simpsons” has good episodes and bad episodes, and rarely hit the genious of seasons 3-8 anymore, and the 17^th season premiere was no exception. Poor, poor, poor. Homer runs up a gambling debt to Fat Tony which he can’t pay off, so he lets Fat Tony shoot a porno in his house. Marge gets so mad that she runs off and meets some marine biologist who has a “zest for life.” Marge eventually gets one too for manatees (?). There was really nothing funny about it besides a few lines. When are they going to wrap this up again. Before, I used to think, “they can’t end The Simpsons! It’s an institution!” and now it’s like the last drunk person at the party who thinks they’re 10 times more attractive and funny than they really are. It’s over, Matt, pack it up already.

It’s only been three seasons for Canadian Idol and it’s already time that this comes to an end. I have nothing against “Idol” shows per se (I skipped out on American Idol this season), but this season of Canadian Idol is absolutely wretched. The entire top 10 was disgustingly untalented, not one single performer has had a “knockout” performance (and we’re down to the final 2 now). The final two is composed of a 16 year old girl from Alberta who can sing middlingly well, but rarely shows it, and a 24 year old from Newfoundland who is mildly attractive (but needs to comb his hair, or shave it), but only yells when he sings. He’s still in the game because of those damn fangurls, or because votefortheworst.com has a new Canadian counterpart. Honestly, I hope he wins so we can get this whole farce over with. Last year’s top 10 was simply amazing, and every single one of them could outsing and outperform this years. Sad, no? The judges, meanwhile, look bored and tired because nothing that they say even matters (in fact, two appear to come to the performance shows drunk), the host is a moron who is so incredibly gay that it hurts, and the comic relief guy (AI got rid of that in the first season) is painfully unfunny, but kinda cute. It’s time for this to get over with. Nobody even cares anymore.

Veronica Mars	A+
The Simpsons	C-
Canadian Idol	D-

Veronica Mars, Dancing With The Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, CSI New York, Medium, Robson Arms (August 1)

And what a season that was. Unlike most years, new shows were huge smashes and those huge smashes were all good, and sometimes great. The aforementioned ABC series were simply put, genre-busting series that redefined television. The last time a network managed to procure not one, but two of those series in one season was NBC in 1994 with “Friends” and “ER.” But this time was even bigger than that because these series essentially came from nothing, whereas NBC already had a mega-hit in “Seinfeld.” Anyway, not every great new series from last season got a great audience, and a very prime example is “Veronica Mars,” which CTV has been nice enough to show to us viewers in Canada, even though they did recently bump it to Sundays at 5pm, but I digress. Simply put, this show is amazing. Revolving around the titular character and the strange world of Neptune, California where movie stars’ children go to public school, it would have easily been the best new show of the year in any other season. The underlying plotline is the murder of Lily Kane at the onset of the season and Veronica’s search for her recently disappeared mother. See, Veronica is a teenager-cum-private eye, following in her father’s footsteps and solves smaller cases (this week’s involved missing money at a poker game) while trying to put together the big mystery. I’ve been spoiled already, unfortunately, but it doesn’t make this show any less amazing. Impeccably cast, the previously unknown Kristen Bell plays Veronica with a sweet innocence, yet is smart and tough as nails. Another complete standout is Jason Dohring as Logan, who is cute in an odd way and manages to snark at Veronica as much as he can. The writing is crisp, funny at times, but engrossingly dramatic at others, and the feel/cinematography is like nothing else on tv; the only comparison is “Lost,” which also shoots almost all on location. This series would be perfect on the WB which has had so many huge hits in the same vein but currently settles for pap like “One Tree Hill,” but I can only hope that the extra exposure on CBS this summer manages to funnel some more viewers to the show.

Another great thing about the show is how real it feels and also how it tackles things that are rarely, if ever, mentioned on tv, like the overt racism of the rich, white boys against the latinos who, in turn, come across as slimy as much as sympathetic. Quite simply, this is one fantastic show that you shouldn’t be missing. While my heart will belong to “Lost” this fall, “Veronica” will be on tape, ready for 10pm every Wednesday.

Of course, you can’t talk about this summer without talking about “Dancing With The Stars.” The biggest summer hit since “Survivor,” it really came out of nowhere with no big stars to dominate the ratings for the 6 short weeks it was on the air. The show itself is a flake- not really dramatic, mildly funny and at times boring. It does, however, have to big draw factors: 1) It’s unlike anything else on tv and 2) It’s safe tv. It’s something the whole family can watch together, like “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire,” ABC’s last summer hit way back in 1999. Personally, I liked Rachel the best, but being a Canadian, my opinion doesn’t really matter since I can’t vote. After that show ended, Fox picked up the dancing slack with “So You Think You Can Dance.” Although it’s only in the audition rounds now, it’s already purging viewers after a solid debut. Why? Well, unlike singing, many people can’t tell “good” dancing from “bad” dancing. I mean, you can tell really bad dancing (like Elaine on Seinfeld), but not marginally bad dancing. On “Idol,” on which this show is modeled, you can tell most bad singing spot on. I guess the bottom line is that watching a dancing audition is just not that entertaining and viewers have responded in turn by tuning out all together. Perhaps the show will get better once the competition actually starts, but I’m already gone.

Then again, it’s still better than what replaced “Dancing” over on ABC: “Brat Camp.” It is, simply put, a disgrace of a show. I know I’ll be called out as a bleeding heart liberal (which I am), but the way they’re treating some of these kids is a disgrace. For instance, the 17 year old whose parents noticed “behavioral changes.” No drugs. No sex. She just started dressing in black and became depressed. Huh? Isn’t that what all teenagers do? I did that from age 13 to 19 and nobody sent me away to a camp. The second disgrace is the kid with ADHD. A mere 14 years old, he refuses to take his meds because he “wants to grow.” I don’t blame him- at 14 I wanted to grow too. The basic problem is that these two examples are sending the entirely wrong message to parents- is your kid depressed? Does he have ADHD? Call him a “brat” and send him away for some physical labour! Granted, some of those kids have real problems, but “Brat Camp” is not the solution. It’s a part of the problem. You don’t treat depression by sending a kid away. EVER. Anyway, I only watched this first episode, so it’s quite possible I’m missing some of the context in character development, but to me, it’s a moot point.

Creating an entirely new country for itself in the world of Moot is “CSI New York,” CBS’s middling new crime drama. Boy, what a crappy show. Crappy doesn’t even do this show justice. The only episode I caught was the one where the circus contortionist kills himself because his girlfriend won’t leave the circus to be with him. Crappy acting, crappy writing and a contrived ending all combine to make this show redundant. Dear CBS, I know that is does okay in the timeslot, but for the love of God, put it out of its misery. Two “CSI”s are more than enough, especially considering the marginality of the second one.

Which just so happens to be up against another show I caught for the first time, “Medium.” Surprizingly (mostly because it’s on NBC), this is quality television. The plotlines are downright creepy (like Alison warning a girl that she will be raped when she is 19, and the man that kept the little girl locked up because she was his “present”), the acting is surprisingly good and the writing is refreshing. It’s a procedural in a way, but with a twist in the main character (she hears dead people) that makes the other procedurals look lame and boring. But with the series already revealing that the daughter also hears dead people (or rather, has dreams about them), you have to wonder how long the series can present itself in fresh ways. Certainly, it’s already outdone “CSI New York,” but then again, so has almost every other series currently on the air.

Outdoing even “Medium” is the new Canadian series “Robson Arms,” which has done poorly in the ratings, partly because CTV buried it Fridays at 10pm and burned all of the 13 episodes back to back. Set in Vancouver, the half hour drama with comedic overtones followed the lives of various people who live in “Robson Arms,” from the two pothead college students, to the older sisters who own the building, to the recently retired professor whose wife has left him, to Yuri, the odd repair guy. The cast is “Lost” huge, but benefits from only focusing on a few characters every episode, following the aftermath of their story through to the first scene of the next episode. This show is amazingly good for the lack of promotion it has gotten, using mostly unknown, but very talented actors in true to life, sometimes gut wrenching, sometimes hilarious, stories. The true standouts have been the Chinese-Italian couple who lost their spark sometime around their 20^th anniversary, Yuri, who is a true asshole but seems to have gotten the short end of the stick at every turn, and the building owners, twin sisters, one of which is played by Shirley Douglas, Kiefer Sutherland’s mom (fun fact- Douglas’s father is Tommy Douglas, the father of socialized Canadian medicare and founder of the left wing NDP party, and Kiefer’s father, Donald, grew up in my hometown, Bridgewater, Nova Scotia, and got his start at the local radio station where I worked for the summer a few years ago. Okay, so maybe not so fun). In a gut wrenching story, when one of the twins announced that she was dying, the other decided to commit suicide with her rather than live without her as neither had married nor had any remaining family. But the comedic side is also very funny, such as the confused hair college girl who constantly mixes up sayings, like “living on the ledge.” It’s the kind of show I really wish an American network would pick up, but I’m afraid that it would only play on cable in the states- various episodes have featured the Italian-Chinese couple in a fairly graphic sexual act (without a cover over them), constant pot use, and constant swearing, or as I like to call it, real language. The hair college girl calls a guy who spurned her “fucktard” every time she sees him. Truly, this show is a masterpiece, and I greatly encourage you to pick up the DVD when, and if, it comes out. Hopefully, CTV will order a second season. If not, I’ll always have “Lost” and “Veronica Mars.” Well, “Lost” for sure…

The Simple Life 2 (June 23)
    Now, class, quiet down. We are about to take a long voyage into the annals of tv history to discover the answer to the question that has been dogging people since the invention of television programs, what is the most pointless show in the history of television? With arms flailing widly.... Oh, teacher, over here, me, ME, MEEEE!!!!
     Enter "The Simple Life 2." Back in December of this season past, "The Simple Life" blew onto the scene like a breath of fresh air, luring viewers with the "Green Acres" like premise. Rich girls Paris Ritchie and Nicole Simpson.... whoa, there's way too many of these little rich white girls on tv these days. Time to weed out the bunch? The two to weed out would be Paris and Nicole.
     While Jessica Simpson can be funny and even endearing, Paris and Nicole spend much of their time on "The Simple Life 2" apparantly trying to make America loathe them as much as possible, and I must give them credit, it's been mission accomplished so far. As a viewer, I sympathized with them during the first season, plunked down in the middle of nowhere and set in a family where there were actually rules. Yes, the girls did bend (and break) the rules, took no job seriously, and often scoffed and laughed at authority, but at the end of the night, they still had to go home to the Leding family and face the consequences. They couldn't fuck it up too bad, for they knew they had to stay there for 30 more days.
      Which brings us to the second season. During the season episode, in which they try to rip off Burger King and go to work on a nudist colony, there are no authority figures. Sure, there is a boss there to slap their fingers and a head housekeeper to tell them how lazy they are, but at the end of the day, Paris and Nicole learn nothing- they are treated to a little dance and then climb back into their pink truck and take off for the next destination. Instead of feeling bad for Paris and Nicole for having to live in such strict authority, without that authority, we now see them as snotty, spoiled, rich, ugly, rotten bitches. Thanks Fox!
      So why make this show? Their antics seem simply pathetic now; the first season showed the girls just having a little fun, but the second season shows the girls doing only that, do they take anything seriously? Maybe only their trustfunds.
      Also Fox, blurring out the bodies at the nudist colonies with oversized happy faces seems a bit extreme for the network that brought us Temptation Island, Forever Eden and Paradise Hotel. While N&P's exposed parts get the simple digitial blurr, the "regular" people are made to look foolish with retarded looking happy faces covering most of their bodies. And why beep out the word "Pee" in Nicole's little speech, Fox? Does the phrase "The parts from which you pee" make you nervous, Fox? With almost explicit sexual references littering series like "The Simpsons," "Married... With Children" and the aforementioned dirty three, why get nervous over the word pee? Oh, I get it now. Fox, ever ready to cozy up to advertizers (take a long look, or a short one for that matter at "American Idol"), probably had to make a deal with Wal Mart because of the extensive use of their seemingly trademarked happy faces to cover up the "normal" people. Wal Mart, which objects to anything even remotely offensive, most likely got Fox to beep the word. You know, the down home, deep fried, all-American Wal Mart, the Wal Mart that imports more from China than any other country in the world, the Wal Mart that is directly responsible for feeder companies outsourcing jobs to other countries, the Wal Mart which is responsible for driving down the living standard of retail workers across the land.
        But I digress. Fox, you should have left it alone at "The Simple Life." By tacking a "2" at the end, you have instantly wiped away all of the fun from the show. Now, rather than laughter, I feel the intense need to scream at both Paris and Nicole. GO BACK TO BEVERLY HILLS, YOU PATHETIC TWITS. And pray that your parents never go bankrupt, because if they do, you two are TOTALLY FUCKED. Then, of course, I will really have a reason to laugh, because seeing Paris cleaning up a hotel room in order to eek out a living would be the perfect irony, somthing better than any network could ever create. When that happens, Fox, then you can come back with "The Simple Life 3." Instead of "Road Trip," this time it can be subtitled "Game Over."

Scrubs / Less Than Perfect (February 3)
     When I heard NBC was movign "Scrubs" back to Tuesdays, there was no question what I would watch- ABC's "Less Than Perfect" which airs in the same timeslot. It's not that I don't like "Scrubs," but I haven't seen it in so long and I love "Prefect." Well, thanks to ATV in Atlantic Canada, I got to see both. See, "Scrubs" airs at 8:30pm (interestingly enough, taking over "Perfect"s slot), while "LTP" airs on ABC at 10:30pm.
      Well, I'll starts with "Scrubs." To me, "Scrubs" seems like the kind of show that people are going to look at in 10 years and go "Why the hell wasn't that a huge hit?" "Scrubs," with no laugh track, isn't a sitcom, it's a comedy. And this episode lived up to the title to a tee. While the episode wasn't especially funny, I love the devices the show uses to make the viewers laugh. For instance, the mean head doctor berating Eliot for her new look (then a shot from Eliot POV with hair in her face). the interaction between all the characters is so golden that the show doesn't always have to funny for it to work.And I love the fact that there's always sometime deeper in the show- sort of a lesson at the end. This time it was Dr. Cox trying to figure out, through help of a therapist, which he's being so damned nice lately. Turns out it's because he's actually happy. Turns out that therapist is actually his kid, only a few months old. There were so many sincerely touching moments in the episode, from the aforementioned scene to JD realizing that he's not over Eliot yet. Take my word for it, in a decade, even if the show doesn't last much long, this show will be a classic.
       Which brings me to "Less Than Perfect." No, the show isn't classic. And yes, it is a sitcom. But I look at it in the same vein as "Scrubs" as a show that people will appreciate more after it's gone, like "NewsRadio," which this show is alot like. This time Pamela Anderson guest starred as the arch-enemy to Ramona (Sherri Shepard). Anderson was hilarious, her under-acting as a floater perfectly fit the episode and especially funny was the end fight between Ramona and Anderson. But overall, the episode wasn't drop dead hilarious, but like "Scrubs," the show doesn't always have to be funny for it to work. And it did. Every line wasn't a punch line (or a weak attempt at one), every single character was used in a plotline (which is rare for a sitcom) and the actors look like they're having the times of their lives doing this show. When a cast looks like it's having fun, it really rubs off on the viewers. But the best part of the episode? Carl (Will Sasso) and Owen (Andy Dick) sitting on a coach, bemoaning how they're never going to see a hot cat fight. Behind them, the elevator door opens and out pops Anderson and Lydia (Andrea Parker of "Profiler"), beating each others brains out. Their fight was hilarious, and while I'm sure there were body doubles, it was the perfect end to the episode.

Scrubs (the series)	A
Scrubs (this episode)	A-
Less Than Perfect (the series)	A-
LTP (this episode)	B+

Less Than Perfect (December 2)
Seeing as how I always work on Tuesday nights, I never get to see "Less Than Perfect," a show which I class as one of my favorites, if not my very favorite. Why? Despite what EW says, the show is lively, bouncy, funny, all without being cute. The show has turned into much more of an ensemble after the focus being on Claude last season. Not that that's a bad thing, Sarah Rue is great, but when a show can do an ensemble this well, it should go for it.
The episode was the perfect example as everything seemed to click well. There was no main story, but plots included Claude and her next door neighbour falling in love with her, Lydia's money problems and Sherri Shepard trying to help her with them, and the visit of Eric Robert's niece, who Andy Dick tried to bring down to earth. This episode made me realize how lost the plotline is on the typical sitcom. Life Friends, for instance. These days, plotlines spread out over episodes and episodes, and maybe even season until you just don't care anymore (Joey? Ross? It's been 10 years, Rachel just pick already DAMMIT!) Anywho, the jokes were very funny, the show clicked on all levels, and "Less than Perfect" has probably turned into one of the top 5 best sitcoms on network tv. So why aren't people watching?

Less Than Perfect

A-

SNL (November 22)
What the hell is wrong with "Saturday Night Live" this season anyway? first, I tune in expecting to see a new episode, but the Halloween references gave the show away as a mere repeat. During sweeps? Secondly, I tune in hoping to see at least some funny writing, but instead I was greeting with writing so lazy I thought I was watching "Hope & Faith." Halle Berry was merely okay as host, not at all like Kelly Ripa a few weeks ago. She actually looked like she was having fun even if her impersonations were abominable. This episode was simple the worst I've ever seen. The low was at a birthday party with Halle Berry and the rest acting "black"- something so blatantly unfunny and stereotypical I nearly shut the show off.
But I looked forward to Weekend Update, because, as you all know, it's always good. Well, this one wasn't. The whole segment got sucked down in the middle by Fred Armisen playing a Native American comic- another bit blatantly stereotypical and unfunny. And alas, even the skit with Maya Rudolph playing Donatella Versace, usually a gut buster, was horrible. I think the joke of seeing her wail "Get Out!" has finally worn off. Either way, if "SNL" keeps up like this, it'll be lucky if anybody tunes in. I mean, this was putrid.

This episode

The Simpsons(November 23)
This is going to sound repetitive, but what the hell is wrong with "The Simpsons" anyway? I realize the show has been on for 15 years and it's gettign hard to come up with new stuff, but please, spare us another "The Simpsons go to ____" episode. The Austrailia episode was funny. Africa? Yes. Japan? Great. But Canada? Weak. Brazil? Weaker. Britain? Horrible. The episode was lined wall to wall with guest voices, at times it seemed like the voices were there simply because they could be. Tony Blair? Who's next? Jaques Chirac? They has nothing to do with the plotline at all, and were all introduced by Lisa as "Look, it's British Prime Minister Tony Bliar!" and "Look, it's Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling!" I don't remember laughing once at the episode, only groaning in disbelief. And where was the plotline anyway? Was the plot supposed to be "The Simpsons" in the UK? What kind of plot is that?

This episode

Queer As Folk (November 17)
Last spring, on the urging on my ex-roommate, I finally got around to watching "Queer As Folk," which she swore was the best thing since sliced bread. So I watched. I wasn't immediately impressed, but over time, the show did grow on me. I grew to care about the characters, get interested in the plotlines as I waited impatiently throughout the week for "QAF" to air again. Over the summer, I watch the original British "QAF" and realized that the American version was a weak immitation, though I still watched.
Well, tonight, I have finally discovered just how far the American "QAF" has progressed. I'm currently watching an episode from the second season (or the first), and god, is it lame. This one revolves around Teddy getting over his masterbation addiction, Justin's problems and school and Michael's pining over another career. The dialogue is corny, predictable and full of clichés, the plotline is barely there (and not at all interesting) and the entire series seems dimwitted. And that's just the first 22 minutes. After seeing the third season, I now realize that the series has drastically improved, but it still doesn't hold a candle to what the Brits came up with.

QAF British version	A
QAF third season	B
This episode	F

TGIF (November 14)
      I only watch a few things with any regularity on tv anymore, one being Ellen's talk show, the second being NBC's weird but wonderful soap "Passions," and the third, surprizingly, being ABC's new TGIF line-up. By that selection of series, I don't think I fall into any particular viewership patten. Being a male 18-34, (18-24 to be particular), maybe I emplify the flight from network tv recently undergone by the demo.
     At any rate, ABC's TGIF is nothing spectacular, and is probably a bit more adult than the original incarnation. "Hope & Faith" is full of innocent sexual innuendo and "Lopez" has made references to "balls." where am I going with this?
     Oh yeah, the review. The worst of "TGIF" is without a doubt "Married To The Kelley's." It's not that it's offensive or badly done, it's just that the show is so bland that I can barely remember what the episode was about. Oh yeah, the coupling of the show go out and buy a car, but they make it a two-door. The family thinks that means they don't want children. And that was the entire episode. Yawn. I don't think I laughed once. I didn't cringe either, but still, it would have been nice to have had some kind of reaction to the show.
     In the middle are "Hope & Faith" and "Life With Bonnie." 'Faith" is an okay show. It's not especially funny, and much of the humour is low-brow. But it seems to work for the show and the chemistry between Faith Ford & Kelly Rips is sparkling. They're pretty much what holds the show together, even with weak plot-lines and general cumminess. "Life With Bonnie," meanwhile, is somewhat better, but this series still fails to live up to its potential. In this episode, Bonnie's make-up artist Holly is trying to score a date with the news anchor, but everybody thinks he's gay. So they hold a dinner party to try and obtain clues. The "clues" where dated and clichéd (his favorite actress was Judy Garland, he was on tour with the Village People), though the episode in general was okay. Not great, not bad, but mildly funny/
     As always (or occassionally), I've saved the best for last. "George Lopez" is one of those shows that keeps getting better and better. Well, I shouldn't say "and," because this episode was not as funny as one's I've seen earlier this season. But what it didn't have in laughs (although there were alot), it made up for in originality. For his anniversary present to his wife, George and his wife's father go out to Miami and sail into ointernational waters to meet the father's brother in international waters- turns out Castro wouldn't let him leave Cuba. Along the way, the accidently pick up a boat load of Haitians. Though the show didn't exactely deal with sensitve political issues with tact (dad and brother" at the end of the episode tell of the ways they'd like to kill Castro), at least they're dealing with them. What other sitcom out there even attempts to deal with anything political anymore? (besides "Whoppi" of course, as show thats's better than I thought it would be).I'd like to see "Friends" try this. And the mention of Haitians might just be the first in a sitcom ever where "Haiti" actually got a mention. I am very impressed.
     Already this season, George's company (or rather, the one he works for) has been accused of manufacturing faulty parts, leading to deaths after an aircraft crash and financial difficulties abound. While this is no "Roseanne," it's certainly the closest thing we've got.

The George Lopez Show	A-
Life With Bonnie	B-
Hope & Faith	C+
Married To The Kelley's	C-

TGIF (October 3)
      ABC's new foray into TGIF territory was much hyped and so far, it's garnering decent ratings. TGIF was never known for quality, so I thought I'd catch the line-up (except "George Lopez"- I was grocery shopping) to see if this still holds true. Not surprizingly, it mostly does.
      I caught the last half of "Married To the Kelleys," which has been getting the worst reviews of the season so far. ARe those critics right? Yes, yes they are. the main point of the pilot was to see the new hubby trying to fit in, and that's about it. They played a game that was unfunny, and I don't recall the audience laughing even once. The show is no bad in a crass way- there's nothing offensive about it, unless you like quality tv. I can settle for a sub-par show for comfort every once in a while (I still watch "Friends"), but this was too sub-par to make the cut.
      Sub-par was also the word for "Hope & Faith," ABC's highest rated Friday show. Let me start off by saying this- I love Kelly Ripa and Faith Ford. I watched "Murphy Brown" and I remember Ripa as "Hailey" on "All My Children" from the very early 90s, when she won an emmy for the role. But I think that Ripa has beenout of acting for way too long- she's WAY too broad as "Faith," it's like watching Dinner Theater. Faith Fod is good as Hope, she;s just not given much to do. But I do like the two of them together. In this episode Hope & Faith go to the funeral of an aunt just to see is she has their mother's ring, which she stole. And she does. So Faith tries to get it back by fake-fainting on the body. When Ripa delievered the line "I had to lick her finger to get it off," I thought I'd die laughing. The rest of the hyjinx at the funeral was also very funny. Not so funny were the scenes at home, where Hope's hubby had to convince their middle child that she was loved. Heavy handed and way too saccarine, this dragged the entire episode down. Writers- stick to Hope & Faith, they're the reason why viewers are watching for.
      Meanwhile, I can't see a reason why people would watch "Life With Bonnie." This episode revolved around Bonnie thinking that her producer was in love with her, something that generated minimal laughs. Last year, I thought that the unprofessionalism in this show was charming, but this year it seems to be ruining things. Bonnie in lengerie walking in on the priest should have been funny, but the lame set-up ruined it. Bonnie- you can make this show so much more. Try harder.

Hope & Faith	B-
Life With Bonnie	C
Married To The Kelleys	D-

Ellen / Sharon
      Alot has been written already about these two new talkers, both widely expected to be the breakout hits of the season. Well, so far, one shines, while the other has alot of work left to do.
      So, who shines? That would be Ellen, of course. I was really hoping that one of my stations would be carrying this show here in Canada, but instead I had to catch it on the NBC station out of Boston. What I found was shocking- an hour of daytime tv that didn't make me want to retch, something sincerely funny without being overly cute. The main attraction is Ellen herself, who seems, according the the preliminary ratings, to be winning back the audiences who abandoned her 6 years ago. I've always loved Ellen, and the talk show seems to be the perfect format for her- no delievering semi-funny lines (as she did in oh-so-many seasons of "Ellen"), this is all her. Her interview with Sharon Stone was a hoot, especially when Ellen said "Is that something you say to somebody you've been in bed with?" Finally, there's an hour of daytime tv I actually make it a point to watch. Ellen is one of the funniest comediennes ever- it's our good luck that she graces our screens.
      Then again, it's our bad luck that Sharon Osbourne graces our screens. Actually, she's not as bad, rather as crass, as I thought she would be, but the show's a bore. She seems to think that everything and everybody is amazing, which grows thin quickly, and that voice! She actually does show sincerety though, which is something that Oprah left behind a long time ago. Maybe with some work, Sharon could be a keeper just like Ellen.

Ellen	A-
Sharon Osbourne	C

Reba (September 12)
      I've seen bits and pieces of this show before, but never enough to actually write a review of it. My roommie loves it, so on Friday I sat down with her to watch the season premiere. I'm not going to say that I hated it, but I'm not going to say that I loved it either. The jokes weren't bad, but they weren't great, the characters not too well developed, but not under-developed, the plot not too involved, but not too thin. So what can I say?
      Reba is awesome though. She's really made the transition from music to tv smoothly, something of an anomily. She's spunky, delievers her lines with gusto and generally seems believable. In a word, she's the heart of the show. much in the same way Roseanne was the heart of "Roseanne."
      Huh? Well, this show is trying awefully hard to be like "Roseanne," as it said it was going to do last season. There's Reba, the spunky, loud-mouthed mother, Chayenne & her hubby (Becky & Mark) and Kyra (Darlene). Cheyenne is the not-so-bright one, just as Becky was towards the end of "Roseanne"s run. Kyra is the smart-mouthed dark one, just liek Darlene. And they even have a little dark haired boy. Can we say DJ? Unfortunately, "Reba" has less than half the laughs that "Roseanne" did, and the seriousness that that show trademarked is strangely absent. BTW- what does "Reba" do for a living anyway?

Reba

Queer Eye / Amazing Race /Will & Grace (August 21)
      Every once in a while something truly strange happens on tv. The final season fo Roseanne. Arnold announces he's running for governor on "The Tonight Show." And now there's a new one. There was actually an entire nightof gay friendly programming on the networks! Well, spread out over two networks, but that's better than ever.
      Starting out with "The Amazing Race," I've never understood why this show is not a huge hit. It's sophisticated, classy, educational, triumphant, and, yes, there's even catty name-calls. Maybe it;s the lack of back-stabbing that turns people off. It's sort of The Olympics of reality tv- the contestant are actually using their minds and physical abilities to compete against each other. How they do in the race is solely dependant on how they perform. They don't get voted off.
       Anyway, that having been said, I didn't enjoy this finale as much as the last one because one of the teams made a bad decision on a flight and was instantly out of the race. In the last editions, you really didn't know who was going to cross the finish line in Seattle, it could have been any one of three teams. Here, you more of less knew. And the winners were the married gay couple, Chip & Reichen, whom I personally abhor. I don't know, but one of them (I think it's Reichen) is a complete asshole who does a disservice to gay people everywhere. I really wanted Jon & Kelly to win, I relly liked that team. Now we just have to pray for a fifth season.
      At 10pm, I sort of watch "Will & Grace," but not really. The episodes were where Will brings Leo back as a surprise for Grace, and the other was where Karen goes out on a date with a guy who doesn't fancy her. The jokes were funny, yes, but I don't really care for Leo's character, he's a split in the group. I know the writers had to do something, the Will, Grace, Karen & Jack are the fab four, Leo is the roadblock. The second episode was less funny, and consequently less enjoyable.
     I was trying to fix my window while watching "Queer Eye," but the show was so damn distracting that I had to keep watching it. It's exploits almost every gay stereotype imaginable, but not in a "hey honey, look at those silly faggots" kind of way. This show is really funny and I really didn't see a weak link. Well, except the fact that it's on Bravo and Bravo Canada is not importing the show until September. I probably won't watch it anyway.

The Amazing Race 4: Entire Season	A
Queer Eye	A-
TAR: Finale	B
Will & Grace	B-

State of Sitcoms 2003 (April 28- May 1)
      When I started this site, I led off with a story about the state of sitcoms. That was way back in 2000. I followed that up in 2001, but dropped it this season. So instead of writing a long story analyzing the ratings for sitcoms, I decided to find out for myself why sitcoms are still out of favor with viewers- though they are making a comeback. What I found was not surprising. Most still suck, and there are fewer standouts than ever before.
      I started out ion Monday with "Raymond," I series that I've watched increasingly less this season. And judging from the drop in the ratings, viewers in general have drifted, though not that severely, with about 8% audience loss on the season. The episodes that I have seen this season all shared one thing in common: they were okay, but not great. Well, this episode was a return to former glory for the series. Debra holds a bachelorette party for Robert's fiancée, has a fight with Marie, goes to sleep in her car, then gets arrested for DUI, even though she wasn't driving. The result? She has to get Marie to drive her around for the next month until her hearing. The golden part of the episode was the hearing, and guess who showed up? That's right, Marie the troublemaker. The scene was hilarious, and Deb's desperation to distance herself from Marie was a reminder of what this show was, but has failed to live up to lately. and mark my words, this episode will get a nod for writing in a comedy series, and will probably get Patricia Heaton her fourth consecutive nod for best actress, and maybe a win.
       On Tuesday I tried out two series that I usually don't watch, "According To Jim" and "Frasier." The last time I watched "Jim," I noted that it was much improved and actually seemed genuinely funny. Well, scratch that. This episode revolved around a bird that Jim's daughter found and wanted to keep. The only funny parts of the episode were provided by the girl, who's dishonesty was an honest vision of what kids are really like. But other than that, I can see no reason why this season is doing anything in the ratings. And Tuesdays at 9pm- "Roseanne"s old stomping grounds.... ugh. Ditto for "Frasier," which was mildly funnier over on NBC, but not by much. The episode garnered the series highest ratings in two months with a guest appearance by Dr. Phil (sad, considering it drew only 11.1mil viewers), but I can see why viewers are fleeing the once golden series. It's just not that funny anymore, and it has a been-there-done-that feel to it. Points deducted for Martin's scenes at his job, in which he used a fire extinguisher to propel his chair. Come on "Frasier," is this the best you can do anymore? Substantially funnier was "Less Than Perfect" at 9:30pm, which is one of the best sitcoms on the air right now. In it, Owen (Andy Dick) is determined to be a part of his child's life, even though he knows nothing about fathering. this leads Ramona and Claude to go out and find his father. I have no idea why the snooty EW gave the episode a C+ grade, it was pretty funnier, not the funniest of the season, but alot better than most sitcoms. Thank god it got renewed.
        The next night, I started out with "The George Lopez Show," a series which I'm starting to watch regularly, but not because it's particularly good or anything. It's okay, not horrible, but I guess it has that comfortable-without-being-dumb-feeling (unlike "Jim") that I tend to go for. The plot was that George accidentally promoted his brother to supervisor, and to his surprise, he did a good job at it. The highlight was George in a cheerleader uniform at the end, which was pretty funny. But still, it's not "Less Than Perfect" funny.
        At 9:30 I gave "Wanda At Large" a try, seeing what all the hype was about. I was pleasantly surprised by the series; it's not as dumb as I expected it to be. In this one, both Wanda and her producer receive honorary degrees from their alma mater (which they both failed out of), but they have different reactions to it. The funniest part was the first five minutes with Wanda on the street, trying to complete her community service. The unfunny was pretty much the last 25 minutes. But one thing really annoys me about this episode- it subscribes to the "loud black person theory," pioneered in the movies by the uber-annoying Chris Tucker. Do the writers think this is funny? The black people that I know aren't loud and annoying, so why are they portrayed like that on film and tv?
       Which segueys into "Friends," featuring one of the few black people in a guest starring role. And she, playing a love interest for Ross and Joey, was not annoying nor loud, but rather refined, educated & sophisticated. Say what you will about "Friends" lack of minority players, but when they do have them, they're more grounded than the main characters. I only wish that her guest starring role was longer, it was nice to see a relationship on "Friends" that was not incestuous among the sextet. Like "Raymond," I've been increasingly disappointed with "Friends" this season, but this episode had me fall in love all over again, sort of. At least I'll watch next week.
       And last, but not least, was "Will & Grace." I sound like a broken record, but I've felt the same about "W&G" this season as I have about "Raymond" and "Friends," but this truly was a great episode. MacCullay Culkin as Karen's lawyer was a hoot, as was Jack and Grace's disloyalty to each other over the rich gay guy who wanted Grace to decorate for him. I only hope the series can keep it up.

Everybody Loves Raymond	A
Friends	A-
Will & Grace	A-
Less Than Perfect	B+
George Lopez	B
Wanda At Large	B-
Frasier	C
According To Jim	D

Survivor Amazon (May 1)
Remember when I said this was the best "Survivor" yet? Well, this episode only confirmed that. down to six, 3 men and 3 women, everybody is aflutter over who will vote for who, with the two anorexic women hooking up as an alliance (they've been best friends the entire series), Butch and Matt, the two most most distant ones, Christy, the deaf contestant who appears to be made of sugar, and Rob, the slimiest guy on "Survivor" since Richard Hatch. Rob has lied to just about everyone, and openly admits it. He tries to create at least three alliances in this episode alone, leading to a shouting match between him and Jenna in front of everybody, which leaves her in tears (good thing innocent Christy is deaf, the swear words would have killed her). Suddenly, Matt wins immunity and everybody has to kiss up to him, and suddenly Rob is left looking for a new alliance. In the end, her hooks up with the girls to vote of Christy, who is confident that she is in the driver's seat. She even said as much at tribal council, which left Rob in stitches. Of course, she couldn't hear him laughing. In the end, yes, if was Chirsty that got the boot.
Why is this edition so good? For one, there are still morally bankrupt and devious players left in the game. From editions 2-5, the "evil" people were all voted out so early. But in the "Amazon," there have been so many that they've slipped through the cracks. Heidi, Jenna and Rob are all evil equals, all lying their way through the game, and all three are still in the thick of thinks. It's the backstabbing that makes this "Survivor" so interesting, and the unpredictability. Alliances change multiple times an episode, which is probably why ratings are dipping. If you miss one episode, you're going to be lost. Hell, if you miss a half-hour, you're probably going to be out of it. But for those of us following it closely, it's one hell of a ride.

Survivor Amazon

A+

The George Lopez show    (April 16)
      I heard so much about this show so I just had to see it for myself.... just kidding. Actually, it's one of those series that you almost never hear anything about, yet is performing solidly in the ratings. So with season three already ordered, this show has nothing left to prove, right?
     Well, not so. This episode revolved around George finally meeting his father, who is a) gay and b) Cheech Marin. Well, it turns out that it wasn't actually his father, but you still have to admire a series that tries to be something better, or more precisely deeper than the average sitcom. The bar by which I measure all sitcoms that try to do this is Roseanne, because I think that no sitcom ever on tv mixed drama and comedy better than Roseanne, except maybe All In The Family. Think about it, when Roseanne & Jackie's father died, it was sad; we saw them both struggling with this and the demos of the past, but it was ultimately one of the funniest episodes that the series produced.
      That said, "George Lopez" failed. I didn't find George's reaction to seeing his father for the first time as heartfelt as, say, Phoebe on "Friends," who you actually sympathised with (instead of "Friends" nowadays, which is as emotionally deep as the Rio Grande). But still, the jokes were funny, and that helped to win me over.

The George Lopez Show

B+

Women of TV / Watching Elle (April 15)
I just love these kind of specials. You know, NBC's Greats Ever Bloopers of Fox's Worst TV Series (hey, there'd be a special), but I mainly watched this for one reason: Roseanne. I knew the series would be mentioned, it had to be mentioned. You know, I've become somewhat obsessed with Roseanne (the series) after tallying up the 30 best episodes, so I sat down for 90 minutes and watched a so-so special just to see if they'd mention her. And they did. After Lucy and Mary, Roseanne was
credited for the third revolution of women on tv: the ordinary housewife/mother/ego. Besides the clips of "Watching Ellie" and "Mad About You," I was pleasantly surprized with the special and it's sheer honesty. Nope, NBC series didn't hog all the clips. Most of the clips belonged to four series: I Love Lucy (CBS), "MTM" (CBS), "Roseanne" and "Murphy Brown," which left me very, very happy since I don't really see a realistic portrayl of women on NBC these days (at least none of the women I know).
At at 10:30pm AST I actually look foreward to the season premiere of "Watching Ellie." Well, I can say this much, it was renewed, revamped, and boy, is it crap. In the rejigging process, NBC has sucked out whatever originality the series exuded in its first, brief season. The clock is gone. The 22 minutes of Ellie's life format is gone. A laugh track is in. And it all amounts to nothing. For what was a mildly funny diversion last spring, I can't wait until it gets it pink slip. Shame on you, NBC!

Women of TV	B+
Watching Ellie	D

Thursday Night (April 4)
       Yes, I finally got a Thursday night off. So what did I do? Go out on the town? Party hard and get drunk? Nope, I played Scrabble with my roommate and watched some Thursday night tv, including "ER," which I haven't seen for a very long time, at least an original episode. And let me say this, CBS seems to be really hitting its stride on Thursday, while NBC is bottoming out. Let me explain.
        At 8:30pm AST, I watch the first original episode of "Friends" in what seems like forever. This one revolved around the $300 million dollar Power Ball lottery and how they friends spend $300 in tickets, "knowing" that they'd win. For a minute I was actually convinced they would. Does it really seem that far fetched? "Roseanne" was in its 9th season when they Conner's won the lottery and resorted to the plotline because all others had dried up. Maybe "Friends" should have won the lottery. Sorry to say, but I just found this episode stupid, and nothing really happened and there were no genuine funny moments. From the episodes I've seen of "Friends" this season, I've been increasingly disappointed. For the sake of the legacy of the series, they should have bowed out this year gracefully, because it looks like its going to be a loooong 18 episodes next season.
       A half hour later, I got to see "Survivor Amazon," and I have to say, this is either the worst "Survivor" yet or the very best.
This season seems more like a send-up of "Survivor"s past- the pretense of seriousness is gone and the hilarity remains. And what hilarity! Much of the episode was spent trying to make Matt (who like to play with a machete and spends way too much time sharpening it) look like a psychopath, to which the deaf contestant Christy says "He's really creepy." Add in soft porn like the two skinny girls washing each other while the male contestants drool, and yes, this is the best "Survivor" yet. Even the booted people were hilarious. One got voted out because a granola bar wrapper was found, and another wouldn't touch the immunity idol because it was a "false idol" is the eyes of god. God, I love this show!
        At 10, I saw "Will & Grace," which was really not that funny. Okay, it was mildly funny, and I did enjoy Jack trying to make a sexy video of Grace to send to Leo. With Leo gone (for the time being), this show has gotten better, but it's not as funny as it used to be. At 10:30, I flicked over onto channel 55 to watch "Roseanne," the episode in which they open the diner and serve a really creepy customer. The episode was funny, yes, but not as funny as the one I saw Wednesday were Nancy came out of the closet. Now that was funny.
       Speaking of "funny," "ER" came on at 11, and it was actually funny, in an odd way. Seems that Romano has been demoted to Kerri's job, and it hating every moment of it. But there's now wonder its bleeding viewers- outside of the little bits of comedy, it was as boring as hell. I didn't see one thing that would make me want to watch again. And that's precisely NBC Thursday's problem these days.

The Tuesday Times (February 12)
       First, Id like to let it be known that I'm one of those rare 18-34 year old viewers who isn't watching neither "Joe Millionaire" nor "American Idol." Actually I did catch "Idol" last week, but I really didn't enjoy it that much, so I decided that I'd rather watch something else. So I flipped over to NBC and "The Most Outrageous Game Show Moments." Call me a fool, but I've always been a sucker for these kind of shows. And I was for this one. Hosted by Bob Eubanks, the show dredged up some of the funniest game show moments ever, and alot of them actually were funny. But my room mate had one gripe- they didn't show the clip from "The Price Is Right" were a women got her hair caught in the wheel. I would pay to see that.
       My roommate and I watch alot of tv together now. Well, we're not really watching, but occasionally glancing while we play Scrabble. We're basically Scrabble whores, and I really do mean that. On the averaged day we play about 5 games, and we have been doing this for two months now. Nope, we have no lives.
       Anyway, we always put the Scrabble away Tuesdays at 10pm (AST) for ABC's "Life With Bonnie" and "Less Than Perfect," two series which are thoroughly enjoyable. This time on "Bonnie," the plot focused around the next door neighbours who like to argue in the streets and on Tony the paino player recieving some kind of award (I wasn't paying that close attention- I had just gotten a triple word score on "quiz"- 96 points). It was funny and all, but this series is one where its charm far outweighs its laughability. The same cannot be said of "Less Than Perfect," which seem to get funnier everytime I watch it. This time, Claude's boyfriend is away for valentines day and she has "phone sex" with him. Of course, Will (her boss) overhears, and she's extremely embarassed. On a sidenote, Nicole Sullivan stopped by to court Owen (Andy Dick). If you haven't watched this show yet, please do. The actors click so well, the material is so funny; it all combines to make the series one of the sitcom world's true standouts. But the real draw of the series is Ms. Sarah Rue herself, whose bouncy, giggly, even naive persona makes the show so much better. And she gives plenty of fodder to sidekick Ramona, who Entertainly Weekly recently suggested to take Lisa Ling's part on "The View." As another overweight black women, she sure would give Starr Jones a run for her money.
       I've been watching a bit of "Kingpin" lately, but I still don't know what to make of it. I'm a very bad judge of dramas on the best of my days, but I do really like this one. My one gripe is that is makes Mexicans look like drug dealers and whores. Overall, I wouldn't say its as good as "The Sopranos," but its pretty damn close.

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